Jack White is fed up with everyone busting his avocados over his leaked concert rider, which included a strict ban on bananas and a detailed guacamole recipe.
White’s backstage demands came to light after the University of Oklahoma’s college newspaper published the rocker’s concert contract before a show he performed there on Feb 2.
Critics lampooned some of the diva-style requests, including a rundown about how White and Co. like their guacamole dip prepared.
“Cut in half the long way, remove the pit — SAVE THE PITS THOUGH — and dice into large cubes with a butter knife,” the recipe said. “3 or 4 slits down, 3 or 4 across. You’ll scoop out the chunks with a spoon, careful to maintain the avocado in fairly large chunks.”
“We want it chunky,” the order continued.
Elsewhere, the rider made it clear that White’s fuzz rock affair was a “NO BANANA TOUR. (Seriously)”
“We don’t want to see bananas anywhere in the building,” the doc said.
After the Oklahoma Daily published the rider on Feb. 1, White’s reps responded with a statement blasting the paper as “unprofessional” and clarifying that White never made any demands regarding backstage eats.
“Contrary to what some believe, Jack doesn’t write the rider nor make demands about his favorite snacks that must be in his dressing room,” according to a statement on Pitchfork.com.
“We’re not even sure he likes guacamole but we do know that the folks who work hard to put on the show do enjoy it.”
The statement only fueled the online buzz, prompting the 39-year-old front man to address the drama on his website Sunday.
In a lengthy missive addressed to “journalists and other people looking for drama or a diva,” White blasted the incessant guac talk, saying the recipe was an “inside joke” between his tour managers and local promoters.
He’s not even a fan of the Mexican-style dish, he said.
“First off, this is none of your business, but I have no specific demands in my dressing room. I know I could ask for lots of things but I actually don’t ask for ANYTHING,” White wrote. “I take with me what I need, and that ain’t much.”
“Anything on the rider is for the band and the crew. This ‘guacamole recipe’ is my hilarious tour managers inside joke with the local promoters, it’s his recipe, not mine,” he continued.
“It’s just something to break up the boredom, seeing who can make it best. Though I wouldn’t know because I’ve never had it,” he wrote.
“I can’t even make kool aid let alone cook any real food enough to have a ‘recipe.’ Sorry, I don’t have that talent.”
Regarding the banana ban, White wrote, “Did it occur to anyone someone on the tour might have an allergy to them? No? Hmmm.”
“One day some fantasy journalist out there will call someone in the biz and actually have a rider explained to them …” he sniffed.
Elsewhere, White dismissed reports that he’d vowed never to play in Oklahoma again — “Not true, I love Oklahoma” — and said he believed in the Oklahoma Daily’s right to report on how the school’s money was being spent.
But his critics, he guessed, “don’t understand what a rider is or what the terms of a contract are.”
“People WANT a rider to be a list of demands that a diva insists occur lest he or she refuse to play a note of music but in reality, it’s just some food and drinks backstage for the hundred workers and guests who have to live in a concrete bunker for 15 hours,” he said.
“Some people bring their own living rooms on tour, some people ask for a huge spread,” wrote White.
“Who cares? What you’re looking for is someone throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get their brown m and m’s, sorry to disappoint.”